We like to be around certain types of people that have certain characteristics and personalities. I was scheduling a call today with my personal assistant and I wanted to go over some things that would help improve her performance. I was afraid she might take it offensively based on our past conversations. I literally typed the whole conversation and any objections that might come up on her end ahead of time. I literally typed 2 pages of what I was going to say and any objections that might come up. All for a 15-minute conversation! Anyone else do this before? I seriously wonder.
I realized writing the synopsis up of the conversation that I need two characteristics in the people that work with/for me.
1) I need them to have great work ethic. It’s super hard to teach work ethic. Either you have it or you don’t.
2) I need them to be teachable and open minded without being defensive.
While writing the conversation up I also realized it came down to the fact that my personal assistant needs to admit that she wants to learn and get better or she needs to call it a day and not work for me anymore. Long story short I can’t stand people that say the phrase “I can’t change”.
The number one phrase I see in general for people that always seem to be stuck in a rut or aren’t where they want to be say “I can’t” or something along the line of one of these phrases:
“I can’t help the work environment that I’m in”
“ I can’t make people buy my products”
“I can’t help it”
“I can’t do anything about the situation”
“I can’t change people’s minds”
“I can’t do anything about it”
Notice the phrase “I can’t” and fill in the blank with the reason why they can’t do something.
When we believe the lie that we can’t do anything about the situation we become hopeless and aren’t looking for solutions anymore. We have believed our own negativity that we have no impact on the situation. When we believe the “I can’t” lie, our hearts harden a little bit.
We can always change our attitudes. Maybe not situation but there are always choices. And saying you can’t do anything about anything is a choice that YOU made. It’s just not a very good one.
Here’s some truth:
We do have influence.
We do have impact on our results.
We can control our energy.
We can choose our friends and that impacts us.
We choose what we listen to everyday and what to believe.
We even control our environment because we are a part of that environment. We don’t have to stay with the status quo. We don’t even have to stay in the environment. We can remove ourselves from it.
Now I’m not going to pretend that I know your situation. I don’t. But I know what it’s like to feel hopeless.
In fact, just today, I got a letter in the mail that I’m being audited for 2 years of tax returns. And I don’t have any receipts or records to my knowledge. And I’m just getting done paying off my taxes literally next week and I thought I was home free ready to celebrate. Well I didn’t even submit my last payment yet( It’s due next week) and I’m being audited for more taxes. Crazy right?
My reaction immediately was what the heck? Don’t they know I’m just paying everything back that I owed? Don’t they know that Im trying to do things the right way? I can’t find receipts from 4-5 years ago that I don’t even think I kept in the first place. Who gets audited? I’ve never been audited before. I’ve just been late filing them. I don’t know anyone who’s been audited before. What are the odds? Why me? And why right now after I am just paying them back. I think you get the idea.
After the shock subsided I sat down and put things in perspective.
The perspective is this:
– If I don’t have receipts and records that I don’t think I have, I could owe over $50,000 in taxes.
– I could be paying taxes for a long time in the foreseeable future working for free basically.
– I do have a job where I can control my income based on how hard I work. That’s great.
– My identity isn’t in money or debt and God provides.
– I have a tax guy who has been working with me every step of the way. I’m not starting from scratch.
– I’ll get through this and I’m going to take it head on. I’m not going to run away from this or ignore it.
– Another college emailed me today to speak at their school for the incoming year so God is working in my dreams to impact more college students. That’s more money too.
– This is an opportunity for God to perform a miracle in my life and to build my life based on his work. Not mine.
– This is an opportunity to feel empowered when I’m feeling overwhelmed.
– An opportunity to practice what I preach.
So what can you do today?
What can you change?
What can you move forward in?
What chance can you take?
What situation can you change or leave?
There is freedom in not knowing the answer to everything. I’m not an accountant or CPA. There is freedom to being able to not have everything together all the time. I clearly don’t. But I have a choice to impact despite adversity. I am called to leadership even when I don’t have all the answers. I’m more focused on what’s right with God verses what’s wrong with me. Leaders are the influencer, not the influenced. Our circumstances don’t change the fact we are called to impact people. It doesn’t stop when our circumstances change.